roxane!*

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

11:35 PM

Ok I need to rant. Using my iPod now. So hard to type out.... Wanted to tweet but Tweeting would be less private and yes since not many know of my blog, it's better to do this kind of stuff here. Anyway, why should I flood other people's timeline with this rubbish.

Sucks to the max. Round 1 was last night, round 2 this morning before spell, round 3 awhile ago. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I just don't have it easy with my dad. He is like some alpha or whatever something. In short he just believes in using his scary ways to make us abide him. Yah, so good news. Till now none of us has ever dared talk back to him even if we are in our teenage 'bad' years. We have never talked back to him. All of us including my mum agrees that he is like talking his own alien language and living in his own world.

It's like the moment he raises his voice even if it isn't towards me, tears would well up. And of course if it's to me I would have a river gushing down.

Using the hair dryer to see if a miracle would work cause some people online say that it might work. If not, I would had to make a futile -just to show him -long story trip to vivo tomorrow .
Ok so he is a generally good father in a way and so on. Like he provides for me and apparently wants to discipline me.
But ok the whole point of this is to vent out. If not I just can't stop crying. I don't want my eyes to be swollen tomorrow! Hudfjfxbjofsgj! Feel like some idiot. I'm crying cause I feel so trapped and frustrated.

He is the only one in this world that can make me tear automatically. I don't really cry that easily normally. Like I don't even cry if something dies in a movie, unless like eh if it's a cute animal....
subsequently a few days later. He will start to try joking and I will like not react to it. And then feel bad afterwards.hate all these moments.

&the beauty.

9th August 1993

SP-DBA

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Cello.
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